The worst thing ever happened on the 9th of september 2010. Or.. in a way it was a good thing - I'm just being selfish right now.
My dear dad Áslakkur died at 8.25 am in Roskilde Hospital.
It was weird waking up this morning. My mom called me - like she always does - but usually she needs to call me 5 or 6 times before I react.
This time I heard the phone the first time, but didn't pick up before her 2nd call. It was 8.20 am. The nurses at the hospital had called her, saying that my dad looked like somebody who was leaving this world.
Before getting out of bed I sat up and cried a bit for myself while I uttered these words:
"I love you dad. You're the best, and if you've found peace before we get to the hospital, I want you to know that you've been the most supportive and loving father a girl could wish for. You
never doubted my decisions, even when they were wrong. You supported me when I needed a shoulder to cry on and an ear to listen.
All the hours we've spent together, just talking about everything and nothing. All the things you've taught me about love and life. All the stories about the family.
You've always been there cheering me on. If you find your peace now, I will miss you like hell, but I know you'll be watching over me along with my dear uncle Hjartvar.
No matter what anybody says about you, you've been the best dad anybody would have wished for. Don't blame yourself for failed marriages and time lost with your eldest boys.
It's not only on your shoulders, but also on your ex-wifes for not being truthfull - you know how women are when they're hurt, they say mean things.
You've been the best, always listened to me and picked me up when I was down. It's been hard to see you this sick, and in a way I hope you'll find your peace and be reunited with the cardplaying club today.
Bring my greetings to them all. Hjartvar <3, Brýnjálvur, Kala, Omma (Ellen) <3, Tollakkur - and your parents. I will miss you like hell, it will hurt for a while, but you'll be free of pain and suffering.
I will always be daddy's little girl, and I know you'll watch me from above."
Then I rushed out of bed - got dressed - brushed my teeth - made 2 cups of coffee, because I knew my mom wouldn't have thought of food, coffee or anything else... and then I went down in the parking lot.
In the car mom told me she'd called my brother Leif, telling them that my dad was about to pass away. Leif grabbed Niels and jumped in the car, and headed for Hårlev to pick up Søren <3 and then go to the hospital.
At around 9 am, mom and I walked in the door at room 317 where u'd spent the last 3 weeks of your life. I was the first one in, and you had already passed. In a way I felt releaved, because you were free of pain,
and in the same time I started missing you. I immediately said to my mom, before she saw you: "Mom, he has already passed away" - and she calmly said: "You're right honey." I touched his hand, stroked his hair
and kissed him on the forehead, saying "Goodbye dad, rest in peace" while the tears were running down my cheeks.
The nurses came in... Kirsti - the one who you always had fun with and who was so good to you - and some other nurse I didn't really know. The "unknown" nurse told us that he had passed away at 8.25,
with Kirsti holding his hand. Me and my mom were even more releaved - he didn't die alone. His favorite nurse was there, right by his side.
- And I realised, that when I uttered all my words as I was getting out of bed, the spirit of my dad had been in the room to say goodbye... so he heard every word I said, and I was greatful.
After that, mom and I went downstairs to wait for my brothers and take a smoke. When we got up, they'd already seen him, but we met them in the hallway.
I hugged all 3 of them... Søren last... and longest, because he's always there for me... and then we went in to see my dad again. He was so handsome... so peaceful... all his pains and troubles were gone.
My dad ... greatlooking, from the beginning to the end... even though he looked older than he actually was.
Frígerð (my mom's cousin) and Andrass came by a little after, while the twins were down smoking, to say their goodbyes too...
I kissed my dad one last time on the forehead, and said goodbye again.... and then mom and I headed off home to make coffee for my brothers and Frígerð and Andrass.
On our way, we stopped by the church to get the forms to fill out for his death. When I came home I called my priest Knud Erik and told him that my dad had passed, and that I needed his help.
I made lots of phonecalls and got some basic things arranged for a funeral.
This morning, the last arrangements were sorted. The music, the speech, the funeral company. Only thing missing is the aftermath with coffee and something sweet, but that'll be fixed tomorrow.
I called my old boss and choirdirector Henrik to get some music fixed... and so did my brother Thomas. I also had a great lunch with my 3 brothers.
For the first time in about 10 years, we were all sitting down having a nice chat, forgetting all disputes that had been between us during the time, and I felt happy.
The spirit of my dad had filled the room, and this little gathering was in my eyes, truly a tribute to him.
And the best thing.. My Arnaud called me this morning, telling me he got days off from work and booked his ticket to Denmark, to support me. He will be there for the funeral on tuesday.
I can not express in words how much that means to me. I truly believe I've found my soulmate in Arnaud. And even though I'm sad and I miss my dad.
I know he has no pain where he is now, and I know that he'll be watching over me... seeing our marriage and our kids grow up in Holland. I'm settled and in the sadness I'm happy, because things will be fine in the end.
I miss you dad - you gave me so much. You taught me so many things. When I look in the mirror I see a female version of you ... without the beard and not with all the weird quirks.
But I'm proud to be who I am because of you! I am, and will always be Áslaksdóttir. (The daughter of Áslakkur) And I'm wearing that name with pride!
I love you Áslakkur Bjartur Poulsen <3 R.I.P. - see you on the other side.
And have fun playing cards with the gang while you wait for me!
Áslakkur Bjartur Poulsen, born in Tórshavn, Faroe Islands. Passed away in Roskilde, Denmark will be put to rest at Kildebrønde cemetary in Greve on tuesday the 14th of september 2010.
